Speaking of, I thought it might be worth throwing together a list of movies you can watch if you are like me or with others who may feel the same way… in other words, guys. The following movies are some of the best films I have seen over the years that feature the holidays – keeping to the theme – but appeal to the man in us who just want to laugh or see things blown up.
Courtesy of IMDB.com, I threw in some upcoming television airtimes if applicable.
Very Merry Must-Sees:
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – I don’t think there is a better holiday movie than this Chevy Chase masterpiece. This is the holiday comedy classic - plot description not necessary - I think every movie since has aspired to be, and there is no equaling its brilliance. Made in 1989, the movie is still hilarious 20 years later. It is beginning to age a bit though due to some of the very eighties oriented aesthetics, but that may also be adding to the character of the comedy within. [TVLand, Mon Dec 20 10:45 am, 9 pm]
Surviving Christmas – A modern, family comedy for Christmas, I find this much funnier than the cheesy Home Alone / Jingle All the Way type movies that feature the typical sitcom level humor. It’s a picture that has kind of gone unnoticed, mostly because it came out during the height of ‘Ben Affleck’s movies suck’ mindset period (October release probably didn’t help either), but I thought it was funny. It has some great plot twists. The main story is that Ben’s character is a rich guy who pays a family to pretend to be his family back when he was a kid. The great thing is that it’s just for him because he is lonely, not some stupid elaborate plot to fool somebody like most of these kinds of movies feature. Unfortunately, the family he randomly chooses happens to be falling apart and he has to really wrangle with the stern father figure – played brilliantly by the Sopranos’ James Gandolfini – and the unappreciated mother – the incomparable Catherine O’Hara – to keep things going. Christina Applegate and Jennifer Morrison (House) also are quite funny. I particularly like this comedy because it lies in the grey area between realism and slapstick comedy very nicely and actually addresses a real issue families may be experiencing during the holiday season. [TBS, Sat Dec 25, 10:15 pm, Sun Dec 26 3:45 am]
Bad Santa - Probably one of the darkest and most profane comedies featuring the holidays, it is a fantastic comedy made for guys. Thieving characters played by Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox are hilarious. It is a bit sad now seeing the film knowing that it was John Ritter’s last movie and Bernie Mac has also since passed on, but they are great and Lauren Graham is quite alluring. The film brilliantly explores the mind of some of those that are miserable during the holidays as it follows the pair who work as the Santa and elf duo in the mall, an annual job that is the front for robbing a different place on Christmas Eve. [SpikeTV, Mon Dec 20 8:00, 10:30]
Jack Frost (not the Michael Keaton version) – Warning, this is not a movie for kids or those who are easily offended by mockery of the holidays. I have to thank my father for renting this movie when I was a teenager. It may be one of the most ridiculous B movie horror films ever made. That’s right, I said HORROR. Story plot: a serial killer is melted in an icy car crash with a chemical truck… and becomes an evil snowman, killing all the people in the small town where the arresting sheriff is. The one-liners are delicious and, well, you can’t help but laugh at the cheesy death scenes. I list it as a must just because of how unfathomable the idea is and that somebody made the movie… and, believe it or not, a sequel. [Apparently nobody is airing it – not surprising – so you’ll have to rent it]
Ho, Ho, Ho… Ha, Ha, Ha:
Unaccompanied Minors – I love Lewis Black. I know it’s hard to picture him in a holiday movie, but he is funny in this one as the manager at a snowed-in airport where a bunch of unaccompanied kids are being overseen by his naïve assistant played by Wilmer Valderrama. Hard to believe I like a kids movie, but I love seeing an aggravated Lewis Black – nobody does it better – and watching him lose his mind as the kids take over the airport is worth it. [ABC Family, Wed Dec 22 8 am]
Trading Places – Not really a Christmas movie, but it is set in the holidays. This film is still one of Eddie Murphy’s best of his career, and Dan Akroyd is pretty funny. Considering the current fleecing of America by big-money corporate executives and rich pricks, this movie is once again extremely relevant. It has aged a bit since its 1983 release and is probably due for a more modern remake with someone like Chris Rock as the lead. This movie is a great way to cheer up your holidays as you get to see the little guy screw over the big wigs – Merry Christmas! [ABC Family, Sun Dec 26 5:30 pm]
Elf – This movie, I think, is quickly becoming the new Charlie Brown’s Christmas special for annual television viewing. Ultimately, it is a movie about family with absurd circumstances accentuated by the hilarious Will Ferrell. Old school comedian Bob Newhart is funny in his minor role, but it is James Caan who I think steals the movie as he is perfect in the role as the annoyed father of Buddy, a human that thinks he is an elf because he was raised at the North Pole by Santa’s elves. [USA, Fri Dec 17 9 pm, Sat Dec 18 6 pm]
Funny Farm – Another Chevy Chase classic, the movie is not really a Christmas film, but the story comes to a climax during the holidays in a small Vermont town, where his character, a writer, has settled down with his wife. Unfortunately, things don’t go as planned with his writing, which I can find relatable. Subsequently, his marriage falls apart, leading to a giant scam with the locals, whom they can’t stand, pretending to be something out of a Norman Rockwell painting so that they can sell the house to another unsuspecting couple. [You’ll have to rent it]
The Ref – How can a married couple splitting up be a funny holiday movie? Put Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey in the picture and it is a lock. Released in 1994 (four years after Home Alone), this movie is about Leary’s character, a thief, being stuck in the middle of a dysfunctional family Christmas… even though he is the one who has taken them hostage. [You’ll have to rent it]
Slay-bells & Missile-toe:
Die Hard 1 & 2 – Forget “Ho, Ho, Ho”… the best line of the yuletide season is “Yippee Ki-yay Motherf**ker.” It is easy to forget this series originated with the first two movies taking place on Christmas Eve. Let’s face it, when it comes to holiday movie watching for guys, can there be anything better than watching John McClane (Bruce Willis) shoot bad guys, whether it be in a Los Angeles skyscraper in the 1988 debut or at an overtaken airport with the high-strung Dennis Franz in the irritant, but comic relief cop role in the sequel released two years later. I prefer the re-developed format of the next two movies with Samuel L Jackson (Die Hard with a Vengeance, 1995) and Justin Long (Live Free or Die Hard, 2007) as his unwilling partners in heroic activity. During the holidays, though, you have to watch the first two… but if you are going do that, you might as well watch the whole series. [Neither of the first two is on tv it appears]
Lethal Weapon – Released a year before Die Hard, it was the first of what proved to be a great bunch of late eighties action movies and long-running series. Most of the movie has nothing to do with Christmas, and considering it takes place in California there is not much of that holiday feel outside of several scenes. However, the season plays a large role in the movie with the introduction of the crazy cop Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) in a tree lot and the conclusion of the movie utilizing the Christmas setting at the home of his partner, Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover), in a great fight scene with Gary Busey. [You’ll have to rent it]
First Blood – Considering how veteran American soldiers are treated today upon their return, it is hard for young generations today to imagine that there was a time where that was not always the case. The Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) series has kind of slipped into the periphery of the public today with the perception that the sequels have left behind about a veteran helping others instead of the 1982 original, where he plays the role of a vet who is a drifter that travels into the wrong small town during the holidays and is harassed by a prick sheriff played by Brian Dennehy and his officers. He snaps in response and is forced to fight back when they come after him. [SpikeTV, Thur Dec 23 3 pm, midnight]
Stocking Stuffers (Maybe It’s Just Me):
Cast Away – This movie really ventures completely away from the holidays as the character Tom Hanks portrays ends up marooned on the island while traveling for work during the season – much like many guys would like to get away when the merry festivities get to be a little too much. Sometimes when the kids start getting crazy you like to imagine yourself on a tropical island – except with a few intoxicating beverages and alluring ladies in bikinis instead of coconuts and a volleyball. Still, it is a good movie and you can lure people into watching it if you flip in on during the beginning holiday scenes. [Cinemax, Sun Dec 26 5:30 pm]
Catch Me If You Can – Not much about Christmas, but the holidays are a thread throughout the film over time as Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is on the run from the FBI agent played by Tom Hanks. Their ties to family during the Christmas season bring the two together at long distances emotionally as they do the pursued criminal dance throughout the globe. The child-like fantasy aspect of the elusive con-man taking on different professional roles also fits in well with the theme of Christmas. [Not playing on tv apparently]
In Bruges – Another movie not suited for family viewing, it is a quirky, dark, little film set in Belgium, where Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson play a pair of hitmen hiding out as they deal with the emotional issues of guilt stemming from the morality of what has transpired on a job. Things begin to unravel physically and mentally throughout the movie as they await their fates during the holiday season, which really has little impact on what happens in the movie. There is some gunplay, but it is not the traditional action movie. There are some jokes, but it’s not really a comedy. This is a picture that is really most applicable for those who enjoy introspective character soul searching and/or artistic films. Not sure I would go out of the way to watch it because of the holiday season; just consider it to be a very good movie. [Not currently on tv]
The Santa Clause – If I am stuck having to watch a cliché family movie, I guess this would be the one. I like Tim Allen and the first half of the movie when he is dealing with becoming Santa before and after learning about the ‘legal clause’ is pretty funny. The visual gags are hilarious and the emotional coping is enjoyable to watch. David Krumholtz (Numb3rs) is pretty humorous as Bernard the Elf, without being too much of the stereotypical elf character. [ABC Family, Wed Dec 22 8 pm, Thur Dec 23 6:30 pm]
Caught Under the Mistletoe:
Okay, if we guys have to cuddle up with our significant other and watch a romantic holiday movie, here are a few that I guess are acceptable…
The Family Stone – A star-laden movie, this film is a romantic comedy in reverse. Sarah Jessica Parker plays a nervous, uptight, stodgy girlfriend from the city that heads out to meet for the first time the family of her boyfriend, who is going to propose, for the holidays. When she gets there, she does nothing but stick her foot in her mouth and go deeper and deeper into a whole she starts digging, offending nearly everyone in the family. I used to kind of like SJP, but after being over-exposed via Sex and the City for so long, I kind of get some joy out of the torture her character, somewhat deservedly, goes through in this movie and I think many guys would secretly feel the same way while watching with the women in their life. Anyway, the romance between the two devolves as she stumbles along in a comical manner with Luke Wilson providing great comic relief as well as some romance, which also comes via Claire Danes. Rachel McAdams is also pretty funny. It’s more of a heartwarming family dramedy than a romantic comedy with some of the other stories intertwined. [FX, Mon Dec 20 10pm, Tue Dec 21 2pm]
Just Friends – I like Ryan Reynolds and this movie is pretty funny, but it is not one of his that I would voluntarily choose to watch. As far as romantic comedies go though, this is probably the best one featuring the holidays that is watchable for guys. Reynolds plays a guy that has blossomed into a handsome music executive and all the cliché stereotypes that come with that in this kind of role. But upon his reluctant return to his hometown for Christmas, he runs into the crush from his teenage years – a girl (Amy Smart) who rejected him and made him become the lothario he is. Along with him for the visit is the idiot pop star (Anna Faris) he represents, who caused the plane they were on to make an emergency landing near his hometown. Faris’ character provides plenty of comedy through her idiocy and delusion that she is in a relationship with Reynolds’ character. Chris Klein is also pretty funny as the romantic rival. [Oxygen, Fri Dec 17 6pm, Sat Dec 18 1am]
Serendipity – Well, if I have to choose a sappy love story featuring the holidays, I guess this would be the one. It doesn’t really revolve around the season entirely as it transpires over about a decade, but the romance between the two lead characters kicks off during a Christmas shopping moment. At the end of the day, I probably prefer this film because Kate Beckinsale is about as cute as they come… and I begrudgingly admit deep down I am a bit of a romantic. The storyline of fate and destiny dances around tragedy throughout the presentation. John Cusack is the other lead and he is pretty good – he has kind of perfected the role of the lovelorn sap after all. Jeremy Piven, who I think is genius, provides a little comic relief as his buddy and Saturday Night Live alum Molly Shannon isn’t bad as her friend. [Not on tv right now]
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